Last evening, the children had their weekly vigil in the blue building. The boys always look forward to having that time with others, praising the Lord. While they were gone, it gave me some quality time with our little one. I constructed a tent in our living room, popped popcorn, and we watched a movie. Good father/daughter time.
As the father of Vencedores, it is my responsibility to teach the boys about growing up, relationships and sex. Unfortunately, I have not had a discussion with them this year. In fact, I don’t remember if I had a discussion with them last year. Well, I decided that today would be the day. My desire is for them to understand what God desires. God’s word is full of knowledge that many don’t take advantage of. The source of knowledge that many seek comes from friends and movies. If we study and read His word as much as we get advice from our friends, listening to music or watching TV, how much more will we understand who He is, what He has done for us and what He will do? How much more will we understand how much He loves us?
When the boys returned from their activity, they gathered in the sala and I said, “As you grow, the way you look at girls will change. When you are young, you think girls smell and you make fun of them but as you get older, your feelings will change and the way you look at them will be different. As you talk to others or when you watch movies, you feel you have the knowledge and understanding of ‘love.’ Yet, what does God say about love?
“God’s word says, ‘All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.’ God’s word is not just for Sunday. It is for every day of our lives. It is His book of love to us, to help us as we grow and mature. It teaches us about relationships. Relationships between man and woman, between friends, neighbors, authorities but most importantly our relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
“We are supposed to be examples to other believers. 1 Timothy 4:12, ‘Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.’ Understanding what God desires for you starts when you are young. He has a purpose for each of us and as we study His word, He reveals His purpose. His purpose and desire for relationships between man and woman. The best place to start is with Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:24, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.’ God desires for man and woman to be united, to be married and then they will become one flesh. After marriage, they can have sex. Not before.
“So the question is, how do you know if she is the right one? What does God say? Is she a believer? Does she love the Lord? Having God in the middle of your relationship is important. If there is one thing that a husband and wife, and even friendships, should have in common, it is the Lord. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, ‘Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?’
“We are a temple of the Lord. We should honor God by living for Him and not the world. The world is selfishness and its only desire is for you to live for yourself. We are to die to self. Colossians 3:5, ‘Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.’
“We need to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, ‘It is God’s will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality: that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.’ Is this relationship God’s will for you? If it is, are you controlling your body and your passions?
“We know that God desires for man and woman to be married. To control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable. God desires for marriage to be honored by all. Hebrews 13:4, ‘Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.’ Many can read this verse and think that it applies to only married couples. Yet, God says, ‘…and all the sexually immoral.’ If a man and woman are in bed together, they should be married. This honors God.
“When you are young, you think you know all about love. What are the standards of your “love?” What are God’s standards? His standards are the same when it comes to relationships. Relationship with Him and with others. What is the standard? Patience. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’
“Love is patient. It means that if you truly love someone, then she is worth the wait. Isn’t this the way God feels about us? He loves us so much that we are worth the wait. 2 Peter 3:9, ‘The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.’ True love waits.”
After lunch, I took the boys to the school soccer field to play. Well, some of the boys who have been disrespectful to the teachers and rules at school and in the dorm, helped me do garden maintenance. As a dorm parent, we need to lead by example when it comes to service. If we have no desire to do what we ask of others, who are we to ask? Jesus taught us by example. In prayer, in love, in forgiveness, in service, in humility and in sacrifice.
Lee and Candy